First, the backstory!

So, we live in the country, about 4 miles outside of the nearest town, therefore we are out of range of cable. We’re technically within range of DSL, but the phone company refuses to update the phone lines down my road. So, we were stuck with dial up for the last 10 years that we’ve had a computer. We now have a wireless connection through our cell phone company, which is at least a tad faster than dial up, but it’s also got a 5GB monthly cap… So for my internet usage, we got an aircard and unlimited data plan.

Now, basically, this aircard has it’s own SIM card and phone number. So it can send and receive text messages, and I believe I could hook up a microphone and make phone calls on it, if we had a normal cell plan on it. This leads into…

Ever since about a week after we got this thing, it’s been getting a pretty regular stream of text messages from someone. It’s very obviously someone who doesn’t realize their friend changed phone numbers. I thought it was funny the first times, but now, about a month later, I’m starting to feel sorry for the person, because the friend obviously hasn’t contacted them, and the messages are along the lines of “Why are you ignoring me?” and such.

So I can’t decide if I should text message this person back from my cell phone(as texting isn’t a part of the data plan), explaining the situation, or just let it keep going. I feel sorry for ‘em, but I don’t want to find out they’re an obsessive freak of a person who will become overly attached to my slight show of concern and then BAM! I got a mutha fuckin’ stalker.

So what should I do?

Hurrah for paper writing procrastination with a stupid blog entry! Which I’m sure I’ll make another entry about after I actually write this paper.

It speaks for itself! Take away their licenses! RAWR!

So, I was going through my massive spam folder in Gmail, and started realizing how awesome some of the spam subjects were. So then I decided to make a little best of post with a list of some of my favorites. And after really looking, I find it difficult to believe that there’s this many types of pills that can make my penis larger. Does anyone actually buy these pills through spam emails?

THE LIST!
“Pole position never felt better.” - I love the marketing to racing fans.
“Stuff it in her and watch her squirm.” - I dare you use this as a pick up line. “My cock is so hard, I’m gonna stuff it in you and watch you squirm, baby.”
“Strong private parts to bang women.” - Nice, simple, to the point.. but not nearly as much so as…
“Lesbians”
“Charge up your erection power now.” - Marketing to the DBZ fans now.
“She will take your new rod in her mouth.” - Because the dingy, old rod tasted like rotting eggs. :[
“Good afternoon! My ass wait you here!”- I dunno, this just made me giggle.
“Erection on demand!” - Just wiggle your nose!
“Trade your banana for a steel pole” - But she liked the way it curved! :[
“Generate interest by turning rock hard!” - Colossus has it so easy.

Annnnd my personal favorite…
“Take that, bitch!” - I just love when the spammers take control like that.

Annnnnd the lamest EVER…
“*Rubber seal at trip-lock winding crown.” - It was actually about windows… or something.

Thank you very much for choosing Abalistar’s mindless ramblings to take up 5 minutes of your life! We appreciate the business, folks.

lik srsly.

This is the second straight semester that I’ve taken an Art History course. Mostly taking them because the one last semester was incredibly easy. This one is also appearing to be quite easy, except for the fact of a really lameass paper I’ll have to write. I hate stupid papers with stupid length requirements. But more on that later. So, last semester I took modern Art History, which was something like the 1400’s onward. And we literally skipped every chapter that wasn’t about American art, or European art. We skipped about 5 chapters and every single one was about Asian or African art. Fucking racist! Then this semester I’m taking early Art History, which is essentially everything before modern… And AGAIN we’re skipping all the chapters on African or Asian art! And it’s even a different professor. Ivy Tech instructors are racisssssst! Totally.

Now, a little bitching. In my english course, we turned in our first paper of the semester recently. My paper was about 1/3 of a page short of the minimum requirement, but I figured that’d just knock a few points off… Turns out, this professor would rather we write a long, shitty paper, than a shorter, well written one. When we turned in our rough drafts, she flat out said that the paper is great, everything is just fine, but since it’s a little short, 10% is knocked off… And apparently that 10% is a favor, because she’s “not even supposed to accept a short paper.” Ugh, fucking retardation, I tell ya.

So, I haven’t made any new posts recently, because I’m lazy, which is my normal reason. I keep having amazingly awesome things to say, but then I push off typing it out and eventually just forget about it, because it’s not longer really relevant. I think I really need to start writing a DVD review each week, just so I have SOMETHING I’m doing. And before I sign off, I give you a link! To a blog about a guy’s hellish roommate. It’s kinda boring, but very interesting at the same time, and the pictures will make you feel like the cleanest person alive.

This link will start you from the very beginning. My Life in Hell.

Also, a bit of shameless whoring. A while back I made an entry pimping out an upcoming animated film by FSUDOL called Dead Fury… Well, it is now on DVD! So buy it, bitches!

So, here I am to finally speak of my 3 days at Wizard World Chicago, although it is a little later than I was hoping. Damn that chronic case of laziness.

Overall, this years convention was kind of a letdown. They did some stuff quite stupidly, and the convention very much paid for it. First off was moving it forward almost 2 months. This move placed it right smack between two other conventions, and many creators decided to skip Chicago for the other ones. Also, placing it before San Diego caused us to get some pretty crap exclusives. The one really nice thing was not nearly as big a crowd showed up. I was actually able to walk pretty quickly on Saturday! The downside of this was waaaaaaaay fewer costumes to look at.

Shopping wasn’t nearly as nice this year, because there weren’t nearly as many dollar bins, or super great deals as there was last year. I still managed to get a huge chunk of Savage Dragon related comics, and am now damn close to finishing my collection. Also got snazzy Mr. Glum statue that was an exclusive for the NY Comic Con, I believe. Once again, I unfortunately didn’t get the chance to buy all sorts of random books in artist’s alley. This is the second year in a row I ran into that problem.

I was able to get most of the stuff I took signed though, and was able to meet several cool folks. Patrick Gleason, Will Pfeiffer, Tony Daniel, Ethan Van Sciver, Jim Valentino, Erik Larsen, David Petersen, Don Kramer, Ande Parks, Phil Hester(who was nice enough to sign my stuff while eating ice cream), Andy Parks, Chuck Dixon(totally wussed out when asking him about the DC situation), Freddie Williams III, and I know I’m forgetting a couple folks. I’m also happy to report that all the artists and writers I was able to meet were very nice folks. A few guys who were incredibly nice and really kind of stood out were Franchesco!, Chris Mitten, and Jason Latour. All three were just really outgoing, but outgoing without being forceful, which is something that most people have trouble doing. The only bad person experience happened to a friend of mine. After being told by a certain artist that he wasn’t going to sign anything at that moment, because he was signing at another booth soon(which was understandable), said artist signed stuff for several other people, at the same booth, not 30 seconds later. So, yeah, that was a pretty shitty thing.

This year I also went to my first panel! The Max Brooks Ultimate Zombie Survival Guide panel, which was incredibly awesome, but unfortunately only an hour long. I like to compare it to a Kevin Smith Q&A, but about zombies. Funny story about the line though. His panel was beginning at the same time as the DC Universe panel, so there was a maaaaassive line for the DC panel, and a couple of smaller lines for the Max Brooks panel. Then when the panel started letting people in… it appeared that about half the people in line for the DC one jumped ship into our line, and the room was fucking packed. I’m thinking they had to turn some people away. This wasn’t the only funny Max Brooks line either. When I stopped by his booth on Friday, for his first signing, I looked back and his line was actually longer than the Warren Ellis line on the other side of the Avatar booth. So all-in-all, Max Brooks pwn’d that convention.

Overall, I actually found myself getting kinda bored. I left early both Friday and Saturday, and was really just sort of following my friend for most of Sunday. The retailer section was also larger than last year… which is why it was incredibly annoying that we couldn’t find many great deals. It must have been a “We’re gonna bend you over,” theme for the retailers this year.

And in closing, Chicago style stuffed pizza rocks. Very much.

Annnnnd here are more pictures from Wizard World Chicago! These are of various booths and other random stuff, so it’s basically the crap most people don’t give a shit about. Convention report coming this weekend, along with a few pics of the shit I bought! …and I just now realized I didn’t take a single picture of the DC booth. Lol @ me! Also didn’t get a good picture of the Image booth, because I wanted Erik Larsen in it… but I didn’t catch him while I was taking pictures. Here are whats I got!

The skyline!	Big fucking Hulk	Ronin Studios!
The always fantastic, Franchesco!	A King Zombie head at Gary Reed’s booth	Chris Mitten! Artist of Wasteland!
The Frazetta Comics booth!	David Petersen!	Andy Kuhn, Phil Hester, and Ande Parks’ little slice of the center!
Bryan J.L. Glass’ table!	The awesome Kris Simon and Jim Valentino!	The also awesome Jason Latour pimpin’ his shit!
Neverending Avatar booth…	More of the Avatar booth.	Top Cow booth!
Dark Horse!	Aspen!	Super awesome Max Brooks
Picture from Max Brooks’ panel	Friday morning…	9:30AM, before the general public…
In the afternoon…	Also in the afternoon

**Note: If any of the thumbnails don’t appear, just refresh after a couple minutes and they should pop up.**

Here are the first of my pics, with another batch and a report of the convention coming soon! I’ve also got a few pics I need to get from a friend, so those will be put up later in a “misc. pictures” post.

First up… The costumes!

Pretty gals from the Zenescope booth!	Mojo!	Mojo with Zenescope gals!
Mojo, Spiral, and Dazzler!	Hulk Heroclix!	R2 Unit and it’s overlord!
A lightsaber wielding sith.	Malcolm Reynolds!	Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes
Leelo Dallas!	Jawa, Imperial Guard, and Tie Pilot	Batman!
Optimus Prime	Nancy from Sin City! …movie version	Harley Quinn and the Joker!
Predator with some random person!	Leon, Ada, and Umbrella Merc!	Umbrella Merc alone

**Note: If any of the thumbnails don’t appear, just refresh after a couple minutes and they should pop up.**

Just to post some geek outness. I recently ordered a sexy statue of my 2nd favorite comic book, The Walking Dead. It’s limited to 1000 pieces, and I ordered it directly from the studio website. I figured I’d get a decently low number, probably the lower hundreds… but hot damn, I did NOT expect this.

Now, if you don’t know what that little number means, that is the number it was off the production line. So mine was only the 20th made (technically 21st, but 20th for retail). Collectors tend to want lower numbered ones more than higher ones. This is fucking snazzy.

So, that came on Thursday, which was awesome because on the same day my new Cannibal Holocaust and Silent Night, Deadly Night shirts came. So it was a day full of awesomeness in the mail! Then today I was able to snag the oh-so-sexy Cloverfield steelbook DVD at the local Sam Goody. Sometimes I love living in a backwoods hick area full of morons who don’t look past Wal-Mart for anything.

And for some reason, I’m getting up at 7:30 AM to hit up a huge rummage sale nearby. This will suck since I won’t get to sleep until about 5AM. Humbug.

And I wore the Cannibal Holocaust t-shirt today… It’s amazing how many reactions you get simply by wearing a t-shirt with an impaled nude woman on it.

Quick funny little thing I got to see when I was on my way home from class on Monday.

So, I’m driving down this little road through town, on my way home, and I notice a car kind of creeping along, with the four way lights on. I get a little closer and notice a guy walking along the side of the road, with a bag full of stuff. I get even closer, and I notice the guy is incredibly pissed/sad and staring forward as he walks, with (what appeared to be) his girlfriend driving and leaning over trying to talk to him, it appeared she was trying to apologize and get him to get in the car.

I really wanted to just creep past and listen in on the conversation while eating some popcorn. It was such a stereotypical movie/TV moment. I love when that kinda stuff happens!

Ever notice how all the trailers before theatrical movies say “This preview approved for all audiences” or something along those lines? I’ve been wondering for a while now why they never show red band(r-rated) trailers in front of r-rated movies. I started thinking about this a while ago when a friend showed me the restricted trailer for AvP2, and it was obviously made by the studio. Studios make these trailers, yet they don’t seem to ever be put in front of other movies and are only released online.

WHY? If a film is already rated R, why don’t they show these types of trailers? I can see why they wouldn’t in front of a PG rated movie, but you’d assume that the audience who goes to see an R-rated film should be able to handle an R-rated trailer. Damn it, I want these trailers in front of my R-rated films! The studios are obviously making them, and you’re not gonna see a trailer for a film like Saw in front of a Disney film anyways. So just put out the damn red band trailer! Unless they DO ship these out, and the local theaters here just don’t have the balls to show them. I dunno, if anyone does see these trailers before films, let me know that I’m totally wrong in my rant and should be focused more at bitching out my local theaters.

Just for reference, here are red band trailers for The Ruins and Clerks 2.

THE RUINS

CLERKS 2

And BTW, I don’t even know why that trailer for The Ruins was red banded, as it doesn’t seem any worse than the normal trailer.