Oh Darling, time is a funny thing. It races when we only wish to go slow and is crawls when we just need it to be gone. our time together has seemed an eternity, and yet as if we had met only yesterday.

Just 2 years we have know each other and it seems like you have always been a part of me. I can’t think of a day that you weren’t in my thoughts, that I didn’t desperately need any word from you, to see you, to hear your voice. You are such a part of my being that I cannot even contemplate time without you.

March 8th will mark our 1 year anniversary. Could it really be so long? And yet .. ONLY 1 year. How many lifetimes can we fit into a single year? It seems impossible that it’s only been that long, it should be a thousand lifetimes, or so it feels. Even a thousand lifetimes are not enough time to spend with you, I want eternity!

The end of this month will be our 6 month wedding anniversary! Wow time went by fast! Seems like it was only yesterday we said “I Do”. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. I swore I would never marry again.. ever. Then I met you, and even when you asked me I said no. ‘Cause I was afraid, of hurting you, of being the failure I have always been…. of being hurt … again. As I came to know you more and myself I realised you ARE the one I have been searching for all my life. Everything I thought I had found before, but was terribly wrong. I have told you since the first day we met, You are special, an incredible man and a wonderful person, regardless of what anyone else tells you. I wouldn’t trade one day with you for anything in this life. I will gladly face all the trouble and hardships of the future with you. I want desperately for OUR story to last forever. A true love, unlike any other.

We have shared so much. Begun so many tales and story’s, so many new things and I treasure each and every one. I pray for many more years filled with the love we have shared thus far, and I know our love can only grow stronger and greater with every passing second, for always…. forever.

I love you my Darling husband… I can’t wait to face eternity with you!
Happy Anniversary

Love, your Wife
~~Sha

The trip home was the biggest nightmare EVER …. I kept a log during the flight .. just in case …

warning .. very raw !

Well, while the flight in was OK, the flight out sucks as the weather fits my mood, dark and dreary.
The plane has dropped at least three times and we just hit cruising. The turbulence is horrible, this is starting out like a horror movie. .. Ack more turbulence …

The captain keeps ringing that bell tho no one will tell us why. I know it’s some kinda code for the flight attendants but I have never heard so many before. Were dropping again and the engines are almost silent. I think this is worse then the shaking, the attendants don’t seem to be too upset, there getting ready to serve food.

Finally fell asleep to be awakened 20 min later by massive turbulence. Not sure what it is but I can hear something outside, since we are seated in the…..
.
OH god it’s bad now.. I’m terrified now ppl are panicking now. a lady with a baby is crying. Please god stop this. Still at 31000 ft 7 hours to go and if it’s all like this i swear my heart will fail.

Please baby if anything happens put me with Sascha to wait for you I LOVE YOU!!!!

Were still over the ocean which scares me too cause there is no hope of landing. Just passing the tip of Greenland pilot is picking up speed now, that lady is really crying now, the attendants are trying to sooth her. Every time the plane rattles she screams.

554 miles south of Godthap the scanner thing says another 90 min till Canada, or I think Canada. Gander but I think well go higher then that. But at least it’s land.

It’s the engine I hear. It makes a high pitched shrill noise just before it shakes again.

They just told us to fasten out set belts TIGHT ………. Here we go again and alot of that noise. Even the flight attendants are strapped in now. I’m scared to death now, I just want off this plane.
I knew I should have never left you baby.
I hate this I can’t imagine what it’ll take to get me on another plane…. well ya I know, to go home to my husband.

I can’t stand this. I swear my heart can’t take it! .. and I’m not the only one that hears that noise.. others are asking now…

Trying to distract myself with T.V .. Tiny Toons movie, not really working but if I turn it up all the way I can barely hear that engine… My chest hurts..

OH god not again! and an attendant hit the floor this time. the plane is really really bad now, down 800 ft and hes trying to climb back up again, I wish they would tell us something … Down again …

34000 feet now over Goose bay Canada.. Were off course now.. 5 hours left to go … next time I do this I’m getting sedatives

4 1/2 hours left and it’s finally settling down.. still in Canada, looks like we will be for a while.

Well were over flint now and it’s settled enough for me to write again. We just dropped 6k feet in the worst drop so far. 2.42 left to go and I among others are crying and shaking. Some are sleeping and a few are convinced we will never make it.. This flight has terrified me.. will I ever get on another plane? Only to go home to my family. For Danny I would do anything.

We just dropped to 28000 feet from 45000. We are going down but I’m not sure why. They won’t tell us anything, just everything is OK at this time and we will notify you of further action. I’m running out of paper if this keeps up. I think I’ll just keep this book as a log.

We are flying through the clouds and still going down. They just came by once again to check our belts. Wow climbing HARD now as we enter Indiana…and down again…back to 32000 from 25000…

It’s nearly midnight for my beloved husband. I miss you so much it hurts, it feels as tho someone is trying to rip my heart out. It killed me to walk away from you. it’s still hard to believe you won’t be there waiting for us. I wonder if your watching the flight and can see all the changes, path deviations and alt drops. We swore we would never be apart again and yet here we are again, another 30-150 days. Could be 1 month could be 5. I wanted so much to run back to you and stay.

2 hours to Houston, If it settles down were supposed to get sandwiches then the customs forms in about 30 min.
Into Illinois now and a little more calmer….Ok was for about 10 min…. were descending hard now and shaking bad, were off course again… I can feel the pressure in my chest now …

1.54 left …

This is bad ….

Woah.. everything just jumped off the trays.. Damn and it’s gunna get worse ..

There calling St. Louis now, not sure why but I just heard someone yell for someone to call them.. I’m giving Lynda her passport.. just in case.. k .. done .. we may have to land somewhere else sooner… were in Missouri now and now I know one of the engines are failing or has failed already…

1.30 till land… the whole plane is shaking side to side and they just said they will not serve anything or do customs forms till they can find some clean air. But the pilot just said it’ll be like this till we land…

The sound that engine is making is horrid, like rubbing 2 swords together. If we do have to make an emergency landing I want Lynda to have her ID and emergency numbers just in case we get separated.

1.20 to go now and were in Arkansas. Lynda has had her headphones on and been oblivious to most of this. Even all this shaking and rattling hasn’t scared her. She keeps telling ME it’s OK. She told me at one point.. If you don’t calm down and stop shaking I’m going to call for help. I know I’ll post a blog about all this but I don’t know what I’ll say, provided we live through all this. Ill have to type this all out to the HD later and save it somewhere. I can’t believe Lynda’s………………

Engines totally gone now.. its shaking BAD .. Lynda’s sleeping now, I don’t know how but I wish I was. Just so it’s said , these flight attendants SUCK, next time we choose another carrier. One scolded another, “Pick that UP!” and another just called a man more scared then I am , a jerk cause he didn’t laugh at her pathetic joke… 1.10 to go

On the ground again after the worst landing of my life… sideways when we hit the runway, as if our troubles weren’t enough it’s been storming here in Houston so the runways are wet…Just one more flight and I’m home… I’d rather walk.

The flight from Houston to Reno was calmer, or was to me since we slept through it till it was time to land. Then it got bad, but seeing as we were flying through a winter storm I guess it’s to be expected. The landing was hard we dropped at one point and had to climb back up to restart the descend, that sucked and everyone screamed. we bounced the landing and they had to get 2 ambulances to take ppl off the plane before we could get off.

In the end we survived the flight from hell and are home awaiting the word that my husband can come home to us…..

Notes posted from log in complete:

Well after 2 weeks of hell trying to get my passports released, here we sit at gate C-9 awaiting the time to board our plane to take us to the Netherlands. So far, its been pretty easy, we checked in 4 hours early and have just been sitting since then. Going through customs was pretty easy, they make you take your shoes off LOL. As we step through the metal detector I hear the guy say “WHAT is THAT???” Hes looking at the monitor with a weird look on his face, hehe, then I remember, “theres 2 hard drives in there… that’s probably what you see there” Ahhhh he says THAT explains things and passes my bags through.

I’m so nervous about border patrol as our last encounter with them wasn’t that great. So were off to Houston and a 4 and a half hour wait

Well, it’s the first flight and we only have mild turbulence and clear sky’s so we can see the ground quite well. This is Lynda’s first flight so she’s excited to look around. They gave her a window seat so she is very happy. In flight movie ” Employee of the Month”, not one I’d pick but at least it’s something. Luckily I brought my MP3 player and the headphones for it seem to fit as the headphones they have are 5.00. It’s a small 6 seater plane but quite comfortable and theres extra seats so we can sit by ourselves. Est flight time 3 hours and 1 minute hehe, puts us in Houston about 2 pm. Weird considering we left at 9 am. I’m still tired as I didn’t sleep much last night, maybe i’ll nap.

Ok so no nap for me (surprise) but, YAY food! They served us salads, a burger and M&M’s ( which Lynda promptly stole from me /pout). Over all it’s been interesting, the pilot said mild turbulence but not as bad as other flights I have been on. It’s kinda weird cause it feels like the pilot is stopping the plane, I know you cannot but it feels like it. WHOA .. massive turbulence and the pilot turned that sign on again. NOT happy about this. LOL. I can still feel the engines slowing way down. It’s about 1130 Reno time, I thought we should be landing soon but I’m told it’s another hour and a half. More turbulence and we descend again, now i remember why I hate flying. I realise a drop of a few hundred feet isn’t that bad but I still don’t like it.The landing was actually one of the best, no bounce at all. Now for a 5 hour layover. While at Houston we met a lady with a laptop that was really nice. We watched Harry Potter 4 and she bought some drinks.

This has been an easy flight so far. I have decided that if I watch T.V then the flight doesn’t bother me so much. I even slept, a little hehe. We’re about 2 hours out of AMS and getting ready to fly over Ireland.Looking out the window all I can see is water. Which is expected but I can actually see the WATER! I’m hoping the serve something soon I really need a drink.

Dinner was good, breaded chicken with rice and snow peas ( yummy!) T.V was fun.. they *gave* us the headphones the previous flight wanted 5.00 for ( glad I didn’t buy them then) so I watched C.S.I for hours.
The clouds just cleared to give us the perfect view of Shannon Ireland, Beautiful!!. With the clouds overhead you can’t really see much but every now and again the clouds clear and you can see the fields perfectly. Serving drinks and a snack time to wake up Lynda now, she’s been sleeping for about 6 hours now… Lucky!!

Were about an hour out of AMS now. They gave us fruit and a Croissant, Yay! I’m so nervous about landing and getting to meet my new family. For some reason it hit me shortly after take off, We are really doing this! We worked so hard for this but I guess I never really expected it to work. I’m very glad it did tho I still won’t believe it till I am away from AMS holding my husband again.

……

Well after looking around and making a few phone calls I have learned that because of the family emergency I can get my passports released so I can go to the Netherlands where my new family is.

Theres alot of things I have to do in order to make it work…

Heres to hope.

With a heavy heart I report the loss of a very dear person. Sascha, my brother -in-law. I had hoped that when I could finaly get to Holland where my husband is from, and his family is, that I would have an oppertunity to meet Sascha, unfortunatly that won’t happen. I was informed this morning that he is lost to us.

I grieve for my new family and for my husband, the loss of a sibling and a son is so very hard. I just wish I could be there to help support him and help him through this hard time.

To the family.. I grieve for your loss and we are very sorry for your pain.
To my husband .. i’m so very sorry baby, I know Sascha met alot to you and i’m sorry I can’t be there for you. I will try to do everything I can to help you, maybe theres a way I can come. I can’t promise anything but i’ll try. I love you.

We will miss you Sascha, you are loved even tho we never got the chance to see you. I did get the chance to talk to you a few times, allways giggling tho I didn’t understand what you said it was still great that you called.

Sascha 6-1-70 / 1-17-07

Ok .. it’s been so long since I posted that it’ll take me a bit to catch up .. so if the date are out of order, sorry heh

Well I’m sitting here watching mirrormask yet again. (for like the 80thbagillion time, well really more like the 5th time this month) Just got out of a brisk shower and I’ve got some ant killing to do later. How lame am I? watching mirror mask, reading Neil Gaiman’s blog, starin at my copy of star dust. You’d think I was a Neil Gaiman freak. When really I’d wigg out much more on Piers Anthony if I ever met him. There would be some possible high pitched squeals and I might pass out. Just all the same if I ever meet Steven king, I’d probably kick him. EVIL FUCKING LAMP! DO YOU EVEN TRY ANYMORE!?
well maybe not kick him, maybe an annoyed or evil glare.
I need to finish reading both stardust and Coraline.
Lots of things in life I need to do.
Like have a tea party…someday I’ll break out the stuffed animals and just go wild.
Why of course mister bear, people who bring their baby’s to loud scary movies should be maimed…I highly agree with you.
Also I need to get some columbo stuff.
Most because I want it but also because my Nova (superhero) in the aberrant game I play if somewhat based off him.
Wears more hats tho.
“It’s because my hat was to fancy wasn’t it? It’s always the hat…”

recently got a new video card, printer, and power supply.
Need new keyboard.
Have an ANT problem.
Updated DA gallery with pictures of stuff.
Loved the prestige.
Hope Dmet, Akasha, and Ellen are having fun.
I’m itchy D:!

Yeah, I made a new post!

It’s been so long that I actually felt the need to make a news article telling everyone that.

That’s when you know you take too fucking long between blog entries.

Well, after my last sleep test I went to see a sleep specialist which was a fucking joke. He basically said there’s nothing wrong with me and I’ve just gotten into a really horrible sleep habit and fucked over my internal clock. But he gave me some ways to fix it, none of which have worked. So.. Yeah.. I’m still sleeping like shit and at the wrong hours.

On the good note, I have returned to the wonders of college! This time for accounting! But since the local campus doesn’t offer many of the accounting classes, I’ll need to move sometime(probably this summer) and go to a different one. No biggy though, I just gotta get off my ass and talk to someone about transferring(both the same school, just different campuses, so it shouldn’t be hard), and talk to my cousin about moving in with her.(again)

Sadly, I don’t see myself using this accounting shit for a job. This is just an easy way to make my family think I’m somewhat together and not totally fucked in the head right now. Seriously, I think I’m about 2 steps from a total mental breakdown and retreat into total hermitdom. It’s not that my life is all that stressful, but I stress over stupid stuff and over think everything. When I over think, I tend to think about the worst possible way something could go too. So.. yeah. Being in a constant state of worry isn’t good. Kind of makes me wonder if I have social anxiety too. I’d love to see a psychologist or psychiatrist and learn some things, but how the fuck do I bring that up to my parents? (Who’d have to pay at the moment)

I’ve also recently come to the sad conclusion that this is quite possibly the WORST place for me to live to pursue anything semi-creative. I want to learn a new instrument? Fuck that, there’s no fucking teachers for anything. All the community colleges and local colleges? Fuck your creative interests! They all specialize in business and/or manufacturing. I think I’m going to be jetting to a coast within a couple months of graduating from college. Or at least to Chicago or Detroit.

Oh! And I racked up more medical bills since I last posted. The sleep stuff, and then I hit a god damn deer a couple weeks ago and had to see a doctor for some wicked dizziness.

Well, I’m off to bed. Soon I shall unleash some new rants on you all! And since I can never seem to come up with interesting shit to talk about, I’m thinking of starting to review CDs. I’m good at bitching and think that if I have an outlet for my bitching, I won’t piss off so many people when I go into a random shit rant about some band that they love.

Well, I’m off to hay hitting!

So long! Farewell! Don’t let a falling sledgehammer smash into your head and get embedded into your neck and leave you with a rhinoceros type of wooden horn!

-Fluffy